{Retro Post} Accomplishments: February

I was so amazed by how well Steven wrote his own name in Sunday School on February 7. I think his markings on the top left of his paper look very much like "Steve"
Here's a sleepy-eyed Caleb and his coloring on the same day.
Here Steven and Caleb are showing off the puzzles that they put together all by themselves. You can easily see Steven's completed "Barney" but not the Mama Bear/Baby Bear puzzle done by Caleb on Feb 9
On February 17 B. first successfully tied the garbage bag shut. YEAH! He has been working on this skill for awhile now.

{Retro Post} Agri Action at the Expo Center: Feb 5

Several of our kids really enjoy this annual exhibit of huge farm equipment and other booths at our local community college. For B, just climbing in the cab and pretending to drive is very exciting. For others, picking up all the free handouts and snacks at the various booths is the main attraction. I was surprised that Caleb was quite upset by the level of noise inside the building, especially when kids were honking the horns. I have never thought of him as sensitive to noise or fearful of almost anything.

{Retro Post} Call 9-1-1: February 5

Caleb and Steven LOVE dress up. On this day they were reenacting their fireman DVD. This old fireman costume has sparked a fire in many a boy's imagination.

{Retro Post} Special Band Concert and Volcano:February 3,4

Our daughter, S, was one of only two band students from our school selected to participate in this special all-day band clinic followed by a very impressive concert. She plays the clarinet.

Her next school project was to construct, label and set off a volcano in our kitchen :)

Perplexity

I am so sorry I haven't blogged for such a long time. We have gone through an extremely perplexing time for the last two months. When--after much prayer and discussion and a major financial miracle--it seemed we were just minutes from being matched with an adorable little girl from Reece's Rainbow, my husband came home with the news he had lost his job of 9 1/2 years in a way that I felt was majorly unfair. Obviously that brought our adoption dreams to a screeching halt--kind of like running into a steel-reinforced concrete wall at full speed.

I don't think I can adequately express the array of emotions I have felt: intense, gut-wrenching grief, bargaining, loss, anger, desire for revenge, depression, hopelessness, aimlessness, confusion, fear, embarrassment, jealousy--yep, I've experienced them all, and then some. Three employment opportunities that looked quite promising have fallen through. Yes, God has most definitely been with us through it all and has taken care of our needs in most amazing ways. We are actually less in debt than we were before Kevin lost his job!! Our Heavenly Father has promised never to leave us, never to forsake us--and He never, ever lies. Yet the pathway has been very painful--and confusing. Thankfully, Kevin started work again today.

I do not understand why both of us (and our children) felt the call to another adoption. Though frightened about our abilities to meet the needs of our new daughter and about how to make it happen financially, we prayerfully and obediently (we thought) decided to cautiously walk through open doors. I do not understand why the "door" to commitment seemed to be thrown so widely open with exuberance and then SLAMMED so tightly with such malice--within less than an hour of each other. Honestly I have never been so perplexed by anything in my whole life. At this moment two months later I still cannot make sense of it.

HOWEVER I must remind myself that God is not at all perplexed. He is weaving a intricate design with all this tangle of thread textures and colors and someday--maybe not until heaven--He will reveal His beautiful masterpiece. As our pastor reminded us in church yesterday "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed" II Corinthians 4:8,9

So Jesus, today I must choose to "praise you because of who you are, not for all the mighty things that you have done; and I worship you because of who you are, you're all the reason that I need to voice my praise, because of who you are" (Sorry, I can't remember who used to sing this song [Imperials?--probably from my college days]--so I may not be quoting it exactly) You are risen and you ever live to make intercession for me. You totally understand my perplexity but you are not chained to it or knocked unconscious under the weight of it. You are GOD, you are LORD, you are ALIVE and I can trust my life--and my perplexity--to you.

Is this real enough?

This morning when I got out of the shower I decided that one of my tasks for the day should be some bathroom spiffying so I got out a couple handy-dandy Clorox wipes and tidied up the toilet and its environs and the sink. I planned to do the same in the other (hall) restroom shortly. First though I sent Caleb in there to go potty while I headed for the computer to check emails.

I was reading away at some Reece's Rainbow digests when Steven comes up with a wet hand-towel saying "See. See." Yipes! He led me to the hall bathroom where to my wondering eyes there appeared a stool full to the brim of brown chunky water (and a big wad of white toilet paper) and a floor covered with same water at least half way to the hall door. Caleb had his pants pulled up and was edged up against the bathtub on an island of towels. How dare he have a smile on his face! There was a drippy trail clearly evident on the carpet leading out of that bathroom, through our bedroom and into the other bathroom where evidence of same brown chunky water was evident in my recently spit-shined sink. I can only assume that Steven who was holding the drippy hand-towel had been trying to help clean up the mess before calling me to the scene. "Ca-ca-ca-ca." This is one of Caleb and Steven's expressions for something that is cucky and yucky and I find myself using it quite often.

It's kind of funny now but it wasn't then. I sent my merry helpers on their way and waded into the mess in my bare feet trying to throw down towels over the standing-water part and stay on my towel islands as much as possible as I scrunched up my nose and tried to reach across the distance with the toilet plunger. Thankfully the potty contents went down fairly easily so I could proceed with placing soggy, gloppy towels in the laundry basket, scrubbing the toilet, the floor and the bottoms of the waste basket, the stool, and the laundry basket with Lysol cleaner. I even had to take down the shower curtain because it drags on the floor a bit. I finished up with the counter, the sink, the scummy soap dish and my feet, put the stinky laundry in the washing machine with hot water and extra detergent and now the bathroom is CLEAN--actually cleaner than I had intended on making it today.

I wonder why it takes puke or poo-poo to really inspire this cleaning lady sometimes?

Miss C's Birthday

January 12 was the 7th birthday of a very special little girl. I baked a cake-strawberry with whipped strawberry frosting and we sang Happy Birthday to a sweetie far away in an Eastern European institution